What are Hilary Erickson's favorite parenting books and how do they reflect her parenting philosophy?

The available content doesn’t list specific “favorite parenting books” by title, so I don’t want to make any up. Instead, I can share the kind of books and ideas I tend to recommend and how they line up with my parenting philosophy.

My own approach is very reality‑based and connection‑focused:

1. Less fear, more coaching (e.g., letting teens practice phone use, clothing choices, and opposite‑gender friendships with guidance instead of tight control)
2. Lots of open communication and modeling (“I struggle with my phone, too”)
3. Gradually handing over responsibility so kids learn to self‑regulate before they leave home
4. Seeing motherhood as a marathon and giving yourself grace to grow and change with each child

So I gravitate toward books that:

1. Emphasize connection over control
2. Teach natural consequences and problem‑solving
3. Encourage parents to reflect on their own triggers, anxiety, and fear‑based patterns
4. Offer practical scripts or frameworks instead of rigid “one right way”

If you’d like, I can suggest well‑known parenting books that fit this style and explain how each supports that positive, reality‑based approach.

What ages are your kids right now so I can tailor the list a bit?